Christmas and Sibling-hood

Happy holidays my dear readers!

Today I am sharing some portraits of my brother, and, as the holidays draw near (really really near!), I find myself thinking about the way in which holidays bring families together. I remember being a child and loving Christmas, because everyone was cheerful and we naturally balanced time together with quiet time alone (usually playing with our new toys). As I got older Christmas became more tense as my brother and I began to draw apart. As our relationship deteriorated so did our enjoyment in each other's holiday company. Fortunatly over the past few years my brother and I have been slowly rebuilding our relationship, and becoming... well I like to think that we have become friends. There are still rough patches and topics that we avoid discussing, but we have gotten back to the point where we can joke around and enjoy being in the company of the other. I am looking forward to this Christmas in part because it means I will be able to spend more time with my brother, and hopefully continue to get to know him better as a friend as well as a sibling.

Is there anybody you are looking forward to learning more about this Christmas?

May your holidays be filled with joy,

AK

Taking Back Christmas

Hello everyone and happy holiday season!!

I love the holidays, and if you are like me, you are humming Christmas carols, checking people off of your shopping list, and waiting patiently for the Christmas season to start. This year I have three Christmas', which means lots of food, laughter, and lots of gifts to be swapped. I. Am. So. Excited. 0.0

However, if you had talked to me three years ago my outlook on Christmas would have been quite different. Growing up I loved Christmas, but after working the holiday rush at Target for three years I must admit that my holiday spirit was incredibly dampened. Instead of a time to enjoy people and connect, Christmas became something to dread and be critical of. Instead of appreciating the holiday giddiness that surrounded me, I grumbled and called the shopping stupid and got frustrated at all the little silly things people do when holiday shopping/returning their earlier holiday shopping. Christmas music became annoying- not so much because of the stress of working late night retail over the holidays, but more because I was in choir and we started singing holiday tunes in October and by December I had become tired of hearing holiday jingles.* In total, my holiday joy was crippled.

And the worst part was, it took me a while to realize it. I couldn’t see the changes, because, like many changes, these ones started out small. A grumble here. A murmur there. A shared laugh over a sarcastic Christmas themed joke with co-workers. I didn't notice that what I really loved about Christmas was slipping away from me. I still had fun buying gifts for those I cared for and spending time with my family. I told myself that I was still infused with the joy of the season, but I wasn't. It wasn't that I turned into a green Grinch or was cruel to those who hadn't had their holiday spirit dampened, but I had become blind to the magic and the joyful glimmer that surrounds the season. I no longer focused on the positives, and the negatives became a source of constant irritation.

But I did eventually realize it, and for the past two years I have been working to take back Christmas. Being out of direct retail has helped, but what really helped was me making a conscience effort to harvest the positive aspects of the season and use them to counteract the negatives. So this year I started humming Christmas tunes in July (which was probably a bit too soon) and started my Christmas shopping in August (the Christmas crowds stress me out a bit, so thank goodness for internet shopping). I am looking forward to my three Christmas celebrations, to spending my first Christmas with Bob's family this weekend, my second Christmas with my immediate family and with my 'not really blood related but you are my family' family (you know who you are), and my third Christmas with Bob, my dear friend Cathy, Anne, Darrin, and my parents. I am looking forward to learning the holiday traditions of others and enjoying my own. I am patiently waiting to see the looks of surprise on Anne, Darrin, Bob, Cathy, and Bruce's faces when they find their stockings and open their gifts. For the laughter and the "oh you shouldn't haves" and the "oh no, really I should haves." I am excited to team up with my Mother and Brother (if he makes it for Christmas eve *fingers crossed*) to convince my Dad that we really do open one gift Christmas Eve every year. To wake up on Wednesday and jump out of bed and race around the house excitedly calling everyone to the tree, to see my parents purposely insist on waiting to open anything until after they have brewed fresh coffee and had a cup and a bite to eat, to pretend to be annoyed by their purposeful delays. I am taking back my Christmas spirit, and immersing myself in everything the season has to offer.

How are you taking back your Christmas spirit?

(Sneak peek of a portrait series of my brother)

-AK

 
*P.S.: I loved being in choir and in no way am I trying to discourage people from participating in choirs or practicing Christmas music. I fully understand that choirs practice the compositions early because they want to perform them perfectly for their audience, and I think that is wonderful. Unfortunately, at the point in my life that I am currently referencing, I was struggling to remember those things and to appreciate the beauty and magic of the season.

Brianna on Film

Hello my fantastic readers,

It seems that winter has finally settled into the Red River Valley, and we received our first snow fall that didn't melt last Sunday! I know that many of my fellow North Dakotans are less than pleased by the chilly temperatures and frosted windshields, but I find myself humming Christmas carols and rejoicing in my ability to wear my thick sweaters again! Winter is my favorite season, and as the holidays draw nearer I find myself smiling more and more at the grey skies and the cold sting of snowflakes melting upon my nose. 

You may remember the blogpost I published earlier this autumn featuring images of my handsome best friend Bob! Well, on that same roll of Kodak Portra 400 I was fortunate enough to capture some stunning images of the lovely Brianna! (Can a girl get any luckier?!) These gems were taken while we were working on Brianna's image for the ISBN Project, and were totally unplanned. They were all shot on a Pentax K1000 using Kodak Portra 400 film and were processed by the FIND film lab. I hope you find them as special as I do. 

Drive safe and keep warm,

AK

FILM!!

Happy September my lovely readers!!!

I'm super excited to share with you some quick images of the film I just got back from the FIND Lab!!! Now, I will be honest, I ruined most of the film. I underexposed almost every image and learned that I really REALLY need a light meter!! However, I also learned a lot. It was my first time shooting professional grade film, and I discovered that the rules I had learned from shooting non-pro film didn't really apply. The main thing I learned is that the film is actually the ISO it says it is and shoots like it. So the general rule of thumb I had developed for my camera settings were entirely incorrect (for those of you who don't know, the light meters in my film cameras are all non-functioning- hence the need of a light meter). Despite the many, many underexposed (and I mean extremely underexposed- as in so badly underexposed that you can't read the image underexposed) images, there were some that turned out, and I am so pleased with them! The colors are lovely and rich and just... *insert really pleased expression here*!

-AK

All film was shot on Kodak Portra 400 on the Pentax K1000 and is unedited (other than adding the watermark).

Winter Wispers

Dear reader,

In most places March is met with expectations of warmer weather and daydreams of an arriving spring. However, there is a place for which these expectations are not held. A place where the citizens trudge through March blizzards and huddle together to keep out the last bitter chill. In this place winter claims more than half the year, and the wind never stops blowing.

Those who live in this place are hardy folk. They are friendly, though somewhat wary of new people [and of change in general], and laugh often. These are the people who balance the open lonely habitat within which they live with shared meals and laughter with friends and family. These are the people who grow up listening to the constant whispers created by the wind.

 -AK

The Holidays

Dear Readers,

As I write this my hands are coated with the contents of a box of markers- a memento of the hour or two I spent coloring tongue depressors for my mother's kindergarten students and bonding with my family. Tis the season, but of what? I have noticed over the years that we now say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas," and this change I do not entirely mind, however it does make me wonder what it is that the Holidays truly celebrate. I don't think it matters whether you are religious or not, the Holidays are important. They are a time to focus on those who care for you, who have helped shape your everyday life and been a part of your everyday joys. This does not mean exclusively the family created through shared DNA, but also those who have become family through bonds of friendship; through late night phone calls and stories that are always more amusing in retrospect. It is a chance to gather together and create deeper bonds; to create an atmosphere of love and compassion, of respect for the similarities and the differences within us all.

With these thoughts in mind, I have looked back and decided to share with you all images of a very dear friend of mine from Itasca State Park. This was a day of laughter and adventure; of lonely highways and clear fall skies. This was a day of family and of friendship, and I am happy to share it with you all.

Happy Holidays, my wonderful readers, may you find joy throughout this chilly season.

<3 AK

Sable Sunday

Hello dear readers :)

I hope this post finds you enjoying the sights and smells of good old summer! I know that I have been enjoying summer, capturing its many sights through Yoshi (which means there will be a film update soon!!). For today, however, the focus will be on the lovely Brianna and the first editorial I have done in the new year!

We did two different looks for this shoot, of which I will be sharing only one today. Below are four images which I call the Sable Series. I found that the look of this shoot reminded me of the 80s and as such, I tried to play more with contrast and light leaks. The light leak layers were created by Julia Trotti, and Brianna did her own hair and makeup as well as providing her own wardrobe. I hope you enjoy the series and look forward to sharing more images in the future!!

With the hope that you will all have wonderful, sun filled weeks,

AK

Honesty: Self-portrait Work

Hello my lovely readers,

I hope, as always, that this post finds you happy and healthy. For today's post I am just going to keep it simple. The photos below were taken without expectations. I just needed to express what I was feeling, so I grabbed Icarus and sat in my house, in my pajamas, and took these photos. The result is, I think, a much more honest portrait of what I was feeling when these were taken. I don't particularly like doing self-portrait work, but I think, at least in this instance, it helped me understand myself a little better.

 Also, I ordered a whole ton of new books, which arrived this week! I am so beyond jazzed! I adore books, for those of you who don't know, and will most likely be spending a lot of my break devouring the written word. Below is a quote from one of my new books which I just finished this evening. I thought that it was appropriate for this set of photos.

"It may well be that we can never fully adapt to our own deformities."
-"Norwegian Wood" Haruki Murakami

 

 

Hope you all have fabulous rest of your weeks!!

-AK

Editorial: Skinny Love

Hello dear reader,

I hope my post today finds you in good health and happiness! Tomorrow is Friday and I'm sure we are all jazzed about the coming weekend! I leave town on Monday until the 10th!!! Don't fear, I will still be checking my emails and facebook messages regularly, and I might even be posting some more images! ;)

As many of you know, this past week I did a fabulous shoot with S, which I have decided to call "Skinny Love" in honor of the song by Bon Iver (if you haven't heard it, you should look it up, it is an amazing song!). This girl was an amazing person to work with. She was shy when a camera wasn't pointed at her, but the moment the lens focused on her she was fierce and displayed a large array of emotions. Her eyes are amazing, and I am so happy that I was able to capture her beauty!!

 <3

 I think the one above is my favorite from the shoot!!

(Though I am in love with this one too)


Well everyone, I hope to be posting again soon, but until then, have fabulous weeks and weekends and thank you a bajillion times for your continued love and support!!

-AK